One month before the pandemic started I decided it was time to put down our 13 year old dog.
She was on medications for pain, for Congestive heart failure and for her underactive thyroid. She wore diapers at night because her bladder dribbled. Her muscles had wasted. I carried her up the stairs to bed at night and down the stairs in the morning. I took her for walks in a wagon because I couldn’t walk her sister without her and she loved seeing what was happening in her community even if she couldn’t walk herself. But her quality of life was sliding and a decision had to be made.
My husband was annoyed when I told him it was time. I said, I can’t do this anymore. He reacted that he was doing his part. I explained that this was not an attack on him, that I personally, ME, I could not take doing this to/for our girl anymore. I booked the vet appointment. We had a vet come to the home for the euthanasia so our other dog could be present and we could cry in the privacy of our home. It was as peaceful and beautiful as a death can be.
One month later the pandemic started and we would have never been allowed this kind of experience.
Our pets have always been important to us. As young poor students we couldn’t have dogs. We had hedgehogs. First Reptar, a nasty little creature we adopted from his unhappy owner. Then Gizmo and Widget who adored us and accidentally gave us a litter of sweet little babies. Then, Oreo and finally Pringles. Pringles will be the last hedgehog for this family.
When we bought our house in 2002 we had a dog within a few months. Bear, our rescue German Shepherd/Border Collie cross (probably). Then Izzy, my first pure-bred dog, a blue merle Shetland Sheepdog. Bear passed in 2009, when Izzy was 2 years old. Isis, Izzy’s half-sister, another blue merle Sheltie, joined the family in 2010.
Izzy adored Dick. I suspect her death made it easier for him to leave. He already planned to go but maybe he would have argued for shared custody. I can’t guess at his thoughts. But Isis is my dog through and through. She hasn’t missed Dick once since he left. She wouldn’t even go to him for a pat when he would come to pick up AJ from the house. She immediately started sleeping in his spot on the bed after he left.
So, it hurt me A LOT when months after Dick bought his new home with his girlfriend that together they bought a new dog. Just like he did with me 18 years before that. He bought the ugliest, dumbest dog. A breed I know that he never wanted. I spent 27 years with him. I know what dog breeds he likes. I picked out Bear because I knew Dick wouldn’t be able to say No to him. But I guess he would get whatever kind of dog his girlfriend wanted. I do admit I take some pleasure in hearing of the behavior problems they experience with that dog. But who could be surprised.
Dick would tell you he has always been a dog owner. But with our three shared dogs, I chose the dog, paid for the dog, paid for the city registration, scheduled and paid the vet bills, paid for the food, paid for medications, registered and paid for lessons, and eventually decided when to put them down and paid for that too. Dick’s job was to brush the dogs. I have failed on keeping that job up since he left. Isis’ coat is a mess. I will admit that to you.
Isis is getting older. She is turning 12 shortly. She has a heart murmur. She has arthritic shoulders and walks slowly. She has stairs to help her up to the sofa and another set to get onto the bed. She has experienced four dental surgeries. She pees and poops on my deck when the snow makes it too hard to get down to the yard. When it is time for her to go, is it any of Dick’s business? Do I just let our son to tell him but not invite him to say goodbye?
Finally, regarding pets, I could never have a cat because Dick is allergic to pets. This seemed a reasonable sacrifice for a wonderful marriage. About a month after Dick left, I went to the humane society and adopted my first cat. Jujube shares my birthday and my heart. They say cats will sit on you and purr to calm you down. It is true. Isis and Jujube have brought me peace, joy, comfort, love and a warm bed every day since Dick left. They are my family and I am so thankful for them.
